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When things don’t make sense

When the world doesn’t make sense it’s only natural for people to try and, well, make sense of it. We start off by examining the facts, pulling out any logical reasonings for why the events happened and if they could have gone a different way. There has to be something that we didn’t see before. Something that we’re missing. If we could simply discover what that is then maybe, just maybe, we would be able to make sense of whatever madness that has recently been tossed our way.

But the world doesn’t make sense. Like many things, there are moments – fractions in time were everything falls into order – but it doesn’t stay there for long. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly, isn’t that how the saying goes? If this is the case then how are we to ever make proper sense of anything?

Perhaps we’re not suppose to.

Perhaps this is the reason why people write, or loose themselves in books of fantasy and fiction. They want to escape from this complicated world and into another where they already know that the rules and boundaries of logic are part of someone’s imaginings.

What a great relief it is to sit back and know that, for awhile, you’re going to enjoy being a part of a world that’s different from your own. Virtual worlds and games, we invite our friends to join us in our indulgences so we can have someone to share with. Some of us go at it alone with only the voices in our own heads and meet like minded people along the way. We invite them into our madness, our addictions – quite possibly to help them make sense of us and not solely so we will have company.

I cannot believe that the world will ever make sense because we are all different people and we have different opinions on everything. We don’t understand things the same way, never will, and that is okay. Why then is it that some factions of society try to get people to think the same way about everything? Forcing their agendas as a new standard norm that can be accepted blindly. They try to crush out individuality and, consequently, creativity.

People should never feel out of place, or bad, for not being like everyone else in the room. A nation of people who don’t know how to think for themselves, suppressing original thoughts and ideas of others. Or trying.

When the world doesn’t make sense, when all the facts and figures and fragments of logic fail to come together, people get creative. They either find a way to make it make sense, or they create their own rules and work in those bounds.

 
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Posted by on January 28, 2014 in ramblings

 

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The Quiet

The holidays are a very ‘noisy’ time for me. There’s so much to do, so many things to get ready for, and all the time that I have seems to be taken up doing things for everyone else. When I finally find the time to have a little peace and quiet I’m too worn out to enjoy it.

This does nothing for my creative state of mind and often leads to burn out. Staring blankly at the computer screen and listlessly scrolling through random things on Pinterest, having very basic conversations and giving rote replies, that’s how burn out begins for me. I found myself doing exactly that not moments ago.

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Currently it is very quiet in my house. The only sounds you can hear are the clicking of the keys as I type and the humming of the refrigerator. I’m not counting the sounds the house randomly makes on its own. (No one is going up, or down, the steps so why are you creaking!?!) It is quiet enough that I can hear the voices in my head.

I’ve never fully understood the people who have to have some noise in the background. I admit, from time to time I can be found with headphones in my ears or the TV turned down and on some random station simply so there can be noise. However, this often leads to me listening to whatever it is and having to split my attention. Especially if there is talking involved.whispering to each other as they craft their next ploy. It is quiet enough that I can my various trains of thought leaving their stations full of ideas that I haven’t had the time to think about due to the noise of the season.

So, sometimes, to avoid burn out and get back to being my normal self, I have to sit in the quiet. A lot can be learned in silence.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2013 in ramblings, writing

 

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Lost Keys and Internal Dialogue

Do I talk to myself? Yes, yes I do. Does that make me crazy? Normal society may say yes, but who has time for anything normal? Better yet, who wants to be normal? I don’t! Anyway, recently I lost my keys and, during yet another search of the house, one of my voices decided to speak up. What you see next is the dialogue that followed. Enjoy my crazy.

 

I’ve looked for them everywhere. Yes, even in that hard to reach spot and the spots that don’t make any sense. Everywhere, and I can’t find them.

Well, you know, if you had looked everywhere then you would have found them.

I wasn’t talking to you, thank you very much.

Oh, you weren’t? I don’t see anyone else around here to listen to your ranting.

If you want to get technical about it, then you’re not here either. You’re just one of the voices in my head.

I know you didn’t say what I heard you say . . .

….That.. you’re just a voice in my head?

Ya-huh.

Well . . . you are.

I see. That’s the thanks that I get for coming all the way down here, stoping what I was doing, so I could come and keep you company. The nerve.

If anything you are being more of a hinderance, than a help, to me finding my missing keys!

Always asking for help, and then when it shows up you ignore it.

I’m not ignoring anything but maybe your lack of common sense.

Even has to throw insults at me.

Ugh. Look. Okay. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot and —

Now you want to apologize?

…… Sure.

That’s more like it. I have better things to do than sit around trying to help you remember something so trivial as where you put your car keys. So, did you check your bag?

Of course I checked my bag.

Are you sure?

Positive. I checked it twice, even turned the whole thing inside out.

Did you check the drawer?

Yes.

Did you check under the couch.

Yes. I even checked in the pan in the closet, and you know that I never go up there.

Hmm, I see. Well, I hate to tell you this, but your keys are lost.

I never would have guessed…

Don’t get cheeky on my now or I won’t offer my help. I’ll talk to the other Voices and see if any of them can remember anything about what you did when you came home. You were so frazzled that day most of us were simply trying to stay out of your way.

Thanks?

You’re welcome. It may take another day, but we’ll find the keys and we’ll let you know where to look when we do. RIght now, stop thinking about it and do something that doesn’t require any thinking at all.

Gotcha. I’ll just be over here, doing nothing.

Glad we understand each other.

 
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Posted by on December 9, 2013 in writing

 

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Novel Month Casualties

Scraps of paper lie listlessly on the floor. Scribblings of half thought out ideas and various combination spelling of ordinary words are written there and the paper is just waiting to be picked up and delivered to File 13. Smoke from the flurry of typing is still rising from the keyboard after having been abandoned hours earlier. The keyboard’s keys mourn the loss of letters that have been worn away by endless finger compressions. The old chair, which bore the weight of frustration, turmoil, and sweat for the past 30 days now sits empty. It doesn’t know what to do with itself anymore. Neither does the table. It has rings from coffee cups and mocha stains upon its finish that may never come out. What will happen to them now, the unsung warriors of this writers indulgence into the madness that was NaNoWrimo (National Novel Writing Month), now that the novel has been written?

Eventually the papers will be cleaned up and the computer keyboard brushed off and given care. The table will be wiped of its stains with care and the old chair will be treated to a much deserved cushion and padding to extend its life. All signs of the month long struggle will be gone and replaced with the light musings of a content writer.

Oh. Wait a minute. The story may be written, but the work had only just begun! Now comes the editing, and editing the editing. The query letters, the endless hours of searching through internet sites to see what people are saying is the best way to network. They make enough coffee to handle the things that are yet to come!

Sorry computer, sorry chair. Scraps of paper, it’s time you got yourself in some type of order. November was just a warm up; now it’s time for the big leagues. We’re going to need some new recruits.

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2013 in writing

 

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My thoughts are not wrong.

Life is hard. People lie. Bad things happen. Hopes get demolished. Beliefs are challenged. Anything that would make a person satisfied is always threatened by something, even if the only threat is ourselves.

Living on this sort of place I have never been able to understand why people are so against opinions. Why they are so against ideals and things that, to them, is completely bonkers and birthed out in a left field so far away that it’s impossible to see. Why are people so eager to crush the thoughts and opinions of others?

Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear that if someone had a thought other than the majorities that it will change the whole system. Even if they don’t like how the current system works, because of fear, they don’t want to see it changed. The biggest way to keep people from formulating thoughts that are not warranted is to keep them from reading. Keep them from seeing the insides of another persons head – unless that person is saying all the things that you want them to say, then it’s okay. The can’t imagine anything different if there is nothing different to think about.

Others may say that it is about control, but people want to have control because they have fear. The two work hand and hand.

One of the most absurd things I always hear when people find out what I do is they say, “Aren’t you a bit old for fairy tales? ” Do they not know that it is the people of my generation, and older, who are writing books and scripts for things that they should have, according to some crazy notion, stopped thinking about years ago? Perhaps they are afraid that if the older generation is dreaming, and thinking outside the box, coming up with new ways to think about subjects and handling problems, that they will teach it to their kids. And those people will dream and the world will stop being the way it is and transform to something new! They’re afraid of the new!

When people are afraid they hold on to what they know, even if they feel it is the wrong thing to do. It’s almost a knee jerk reaction and it takes a rather strong crowbar to get them to budge. Someone told me that I don’t know when to stop playing and that the voices in my head are simply that – voices that I created. If people took time to sit down, with their problems, and talk things out the I believe that things would be better. But we are told that talking to ourselves is wrong, it makes us crazy. There’s nothing wring with it.

There’s nothing wrong with girls wanting to be the MVP in football, or a boy wanting to dance In a ballet. Why must be out down the thoughts and ways if other people, if they do different that out expected norm? Encourage them, even if what they are doing seems silly and off base. Encourage yourself to do something different.

Don’t let anyone tell you that your thought are wrong.

 
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Posted by on September 29, 2013 in writing

 

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My excuse is …

We have excuses for everything.

Why we didn’t eat breakfast, or why we ate the doughnut instead of the bagel. Why we choose to walk on the right side if the street instead of the side we needed to be on. Why we couldn’t take a moment to wave hi to a co-worker when we saw them. In a way, our whole day can be built upon one excuse after another if we were asked to explain our actions.

Some people will say that they did it ‘just because.’ Well, just because what? Because, I don’t know, it felt like the right thing to do – or the wrong thing – and it had to be done.

Remember, when you were a kid, and you would always ask ‘why’? There wasn’t anything that you could be told that you didn’t tact ‘why’ on the end of it and you waited for an answer. (Maybe I was the on,y one who did that, and let me tell you, it wasn’t always the best thing to do!)

Deliberately, or on purpose, we often seek excuses to explain our actions. “Oh I would have been there on time, but I had to out gas in the car.” Did the car really need gas? Yes, no lie there. The real reason you were late is not because you needed to get gas – you could have left earlier to compensate for the time – but you were late because you didn’t want to go in the first place, the gas is simply a convenient excuse.

Making excuses isn’t all bad. I’m sure that some people would hoop and holler, saying that excuses are lies and all that (not saying that they are not right)’ but if you find a person never makes an excuse, then they are likely more dangerous than a bold face liar.

I’m not going to say whether it’s good or bad, I’m just going to say that it builds character. It shows what type of person you are by the excuses that you give. Not to mention your excuse delivery.

How something is said can say a lot about a person, often times people forget this when they are writing their characters. Look at yourself and all the excuses you make; add to your characters personality. It makes them more relatable.

What’s your excuse?

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2013 in Inspiration, ramblings, writing

 

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Talkity-talk, talk

Sometimes the Voices talk to much.

All throughout the day, every day, there is someone talking to me – most it is one of my three kids. Mom, mamma, mommy, ma, on and on until I can hear them even when they are not talking. Then I have other people talking to me – the voices in my head. Wait.  That’s not entirely true for sometimes they are not talking to me, but rather to each other, I simply can always hear the conversation.

What can a simple voice have to talk about, you ask? Plenty.  Let me tell you, when their lives are not being written out on a page they are yammering on about what happened, what they will and want to do. Sometimes they do more than talk about it, they act it out.  Me, with my overly active imagination, can see and hear it all.  It’s really quite funny.  Think of it like baring witness to a story in the making where the writers are all sitting around a table and drafting out lines and parts for the characters.  One makes a suggestion and they all discuss it, add it to, or – in my case -laugh at it and make the changes they want.

For example.  There is this one voice – a male cat named Tyger and he can talk.  At times he has a natural lack of tact and can be very sarcastic and crass by nature, especially to other males in the room. He has been going on and on about this other male character of mine and calling his latest actions imbecilic. Of course, this other guy – whom we’ll call ‘M’ – doesn’t like to be insulted, especially by a cat, and started to argue with it.

Their argument completely disrupted the train of thought of a female character of mine and she got upset.  She and I have been trying to work on a scene that we’ve been stuck on for a week now, and were finally making headway until the argument. Now she is trying to break up the human and cat fight while I’m here trying to get back in focus, so I can write.  I am writing now, but it’s not the writing that I should be doing.

Quiet, you three, can’t you see that I’m trying to concentrate!?  Go argue over there. There.  Not here, but over there.  Yes.  Thank you.  That’s better.  Maybe I will even post a tidbit of this writing, we’ll see.

Now, if only the Voices will give me a bit of peace, or work with me, so we can get this done.

 
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Posted by on February 12, 2013 in ramblings, writing

 

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