Category Archives: ramblings

When things don’t make sense

When the world doesn’t make sense it’s only natural for people to try and, well, make sense of it. We start off by examining the facts, pulling out any logical reasonings for why the events happened and if they could have gone a different way. There has to be something that we didn’t see before. Something that we’re missing. If we could simply discover what that is then maybe, just maybe, we would be able to make sense of whatever madness that has recently been tossed our way.

But the world doesn’t make sense. Like many things, there are moments – fractions in time were everything falls into order – but it doesn’t stay there for long. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly, isn’t that how the saying goes? If this is the case then how are we to ever make proper sense of anything?

Perhaps we’re not suppose to.

Perhaps this is the reason why people write, or loose themselves in books of fantasy and fiction. They want to escape from this complicated world and into another where they already know that the rules and boundaries of logic are part of someone’s imaginings.

What a great relief it is to sit back and know that, for awhile, you’re going to enjoy being a part of a world that’s different from your own. Virtual worlds and games, we invite our friends to join us in our indulgences so we can have someone to share with. Some of us go at it alone with only the voices in our own heads and meet like minded people along the way. We invite them into our madness, our addictions – quite possibly to help them make sense of us and not solely so we will have company.

I cannot believe that the world will ever make sense because we are all different people and we have different opinions on everything. We don’t understand things the same way, never will, and that is okay. Why then is it that some factions of society try to get people to think the same way about everything? Forcing their agendas as a new standard norm that can be accepted blindly. They try to crush out individuality and, consequently, creativity.

People should never feel out of place, or bad, for not being like everyone else in the room. A nation of people who don’t know how to think for themselves, suppressing original thoughts and ideas of others. Or trying.

When the world doesn’t make sense, when all the facts and figures and fragments of logic fail to come together, people get creative. They either find a way to make it make sense, or they create their own rules and work in those bounds.

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Posted by on January 28, 2014 in ramblings


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The Quiet

The holidays are a very ‘noisy’ time for me. There’s so much to do, so many things to get ready for, and all the time that I have seems to be taken up doing things for everyone else. When I finally find the time to have a little peace and quiet I’m too worn out to enjoy it.

This does nothing for my creative state of mind and often leads to burn out. Staring blankly at the computer screen and listlessly scrolling through random things on Pinterest, having very basic conversations and giving rote replies, that’s how burn out begins for me. I found myself doing exactly that not moments ago.


Currently it is very quiet in my house. The only sounds you can hear are the clicking of the keys as I type and the humming of the refrigerator. I’m not counting the sounds the house randomly makes on its own. (No one is going up, or down, the steps so why are you creaking!?!) It is quiet enough that I can hear the voices in my head.

I’ve never fully understood the people who have to have some noise in the background. I admit, from time to time I can be found with headphones in my ears or the TV turned down and on some random station simply so there can be noise. However, this often leads to me listening to whatever it is and having to split my attention. Especially if there is talking involved.whispering to each other as they craft their next ploy. It is quiet enough that I can my various trains of thought leaving their stations full of ideas that I haven’t had the time to think about due to the noise of the season.

So, sometimes, to avoid burn out and get back to being my normal self, I have to sit in the quiet. A lot can be learned in silence.

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Posted by on December 27, 2013 in ramblings, writing


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Taking the Journey

Every great journey has to start somewhere.

Whether you step out boldly and full of bravado, or silently inch your way into the light, nothing will happen of you don’t take that first step. No one said that it was going to be easy — once you take a step, you can’t go back, and that is something that scares many people. It even scares me. But, shouldn’t you be a little scared?

Being afraid doesn’t always mean that you cower down and run away.  Having a fear of something, especially change, shows that you have respect for the change. A type of reverence that says that what you are about to do means something.

I always wanted to write a book and put it out there for others to read. Now that it’s been written it’s time to press onward into the world of publishing. And, for a special treat, I’ve put the first chapter here on my blog! Follow the link below and enjoy!  Best of luck to you all in whatever journey lies before you.

Past’s Prologue: Chapter One

Synopsis: Five hundred years ago, the Shadow War tore the Four Kingdoms apart. Now, the Ma’Tradom’s and the Master’s discreetly rule the Realm to keep history from repeating itself. But, away in the North, the shadows are stirring and the fate of their world rest in the hands of a girl with no faith and a boy with a vengeful heart.

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Posted by on December 2, 2013 in Inspiration, ramblings, writing


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Dictators all around.

Sometimes the voices forget who is in charge. They think that, just because I brought them into existence, that they have a right to dictate how things work inside my own head. Write this now. Change this. I think – no, I know – you should use this instead. Yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah. With all the things that they have to say I sometimes wonder if my voices have voices.

Wouldn’t that be interesting.

I’ve always found it annoying when a person looks at your situation and, suddenly, they are an expert on the matter. They can tell you all the things you do wrong, offer advice on the situation, and even tell you the things you are suppose to do next; and they do it all whether you asked or not. (Most of the time it’s ‘not’.)

“I see you’re wearing sandals on a cold day, let me tell you something about body temperature….” Then you’re stuck listening to the person educate you proper situational footwear and the effects on the body! How do they know all this stuff? Did they randomly happen to search WebMD for the subject and make it their mission to tell everyone they met? Or, the more likely story, they are giving their well thought out opinion in hopes that you’ll take them seriously.

Be grateful when you find a chance to leave that conversation.

My characters can be like that, thinking that they know better than I do and are able to produce better results. Now, I will admit, that sometimes by listening to what the voices have to say, I end up with a pretty good product! Other times….not so much. When they have successfully convinced me to do it their way, and it flops, I turn to the voices to see them whistling innocently. Some even have the nerve to say that I shouldn’t have listened! (“Don’t know why you’re listening to me….”)

There are a lot of things in life that try to dictate your actions, tell you what you should do and how you should do it. At the end of the day the one who has to deal with the reality of your actions is you.

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Posted by on September 18, 2013 in ramblings, writing


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Success is a Demon

Success is a demon – I suppose that is why a lot of people runaway from it.

They say that they want to succeed. They have dreams. They plan for the future and what they want to do and make long term plans. A step by step process to success. It’s all laid out! Everything appears to be so easy! It’s a piece if cake!

So you start off slowly, taking it one step at a time. Everything is going well and you see that your goal is closer than it was before. Your confidence is rising and you’re happy! Then, after the success of meeting a few of the smaller goals you may start to wonder what it would be like to reach the main goal. To complete the task and —— wait. Complete the task?

You mean that if I follow all the steps, one by one, I’ll eventually reach the end? What am I going to do then? It, it can’t just end! What will I have to strive towards? I won’t have any challenges, no daily goals, no mid-way pat on the backs for encouragement. What if I’m rejected because of my success? It will all be over……

Such thinking, as demonstrated in the previous paragraph, is very detrimental. By doing so we create our own demon that we are reluctant to face and, when this happens, it takes a bit longer for us to move to our next goal. We start getting writers block and loose concentration. We involve ourselves in other things – that may even be related to our main goal ( but are really not ) to avoid getting any closer to the success of completing our goal.

What if you finish your work and people actually like it? Will they expect you to produce the same result next time or be better? Success can be stressful.

Back in High School (a thousand years ago) I had a teacher who told us that a person is only as good as their last mistake. Wouldn’t it make more sense, then, for people to be wary of failure than in succeeding? It would, but we tend to fear that our success will be our failure and that is what people will remember. No one will care about how much you worked and toiled on a project, all the effort that went into it; all they will remember is that you failed. If failure defines how good you are then why bother trying to succeed?

It’s not good to live with demons. Everyone who has succeeded in something has had to stared down their own demons. Or, if they are like me, the staring match has turned into all out war, there are casualties on both sides and they are fighting still.

Success isn’t easy. It doesn’t matter what you’re goal is, or what you’re trying to accomplish, the road is going to be hard. There will be high points and there will be many lows but its up to you to decide the outcome. Give up, take the easy route and stop trying, or are you going to pick yourself up and carry on? With every step, every fraction of an inch you take towards your goal is another strike against the demon you made out of success.

Pause a moment. Breathe. Don’t you lower your eyes to the ground and think you’ve been hit to many times. Your legs may be shaky, and your spirit may be on life support, but, if you start moving in the right direction then those demons will start backing away from you.

It’s time to crush that demon of success and lay claim to victory.

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Posted by on August 6, 2013 in Inspiration, ramblings, writing


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staging a coup

I’d like to stage a coup.

A coup. A mutiny. An open rebellion against the powers that be! I can do it, I can, even though the voices in my head are laughing at me. Not all of them, only the naysayers. (I don’t need the negative people!) Pft, like they know how wildly unsuccessful I’ll be – ill just have to prove them wrong.

Why exactly do I want this? Well. It’s simple really. I get tired of the characters thinking that they have more of a say as to what happens in their lives than I do. I made them! I’m the one who put the pen to paper and wrote out a name, gave them a look and personality, yet they tend to think that they know better than I!

I do give my characters a lot of freedom. We sit and talk, muse over events of the day, and try things out, sometimes Inge work out and other times, not so much. So perhaps it’s my fault that I am even considering staging a coup to take back my story from my characters anyway! Perhaps, if I had been a good little author that keeps all her characters locked up and fed them nothing but overused clichés and excessive adjectives, they would be thrilled and more than willing to do whatever I wanted.

“Oh, yes, Master Author.”
“Whatever you say, Master Author.”
“Can I stay out, just a bit longer, Master Author?”
“I washed me face an ‘ands before I comes, I did.” No, wait, that one isn’t mine . . . .who let in Eliza Dolittle?


Anyway, the naysayer voices say I’ll fail because I have a tendency to get easily distracted. While that may be true, I do know how to focus. Some of them even say that my coup will fail because I think that the story behind starting a coup and then having it taken down by treachery, before it gets to far off the ground, is too tempting for me to leave alone. That may actually be right, though I can think of other things as well…..

No matter what they think, this coup must happen! The characters need to know that they do what I want them to do! They exist because I know them and gave them that voice. It’s always good to work with your characters, get in their heads, but at the end of the day, it’s my story and they are my thoughts.

Creator verses the created. Let’s go!

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Posted by on July 18, 2013 in ramblings, writing


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Writer’s right to write

I came across this picture today, and I thought that it was fitting.  “10 Steps”.  I was thinking about printing it out and putting it in my workspace as a reminder, or a guide, of what I should be doing – which is writing.


Don’t get my wrong, I love to write and I write all the time, but, am I writing what I should be writing?   If you were to ask the voices in my head, 80% of them would say no, 12% would say yes (those would be the ones that I am currently writing with), and the other 8% probably wouldn’t care either way . Those 8% are probably random extras who hope that, by staying silent, they can out live their shelflife. Poor unfortunate souls.

Anyway, what was I saying?

Right, writing.

The steps say that to be a better writer one must write. While I believe this whole heartedly, I also believe that the writer can’t simply spew nonsense form the tips of their fingers [blogging isn’t nonsense, it’s constructed chaos of the mind set to paper, thank you very much!] and call it writing.  Who would want to read a mass of jumbled jargon that didn’t make any sense?  Well, I would, but I’d like an explanation to it all in the end.  No one likes to be left in the dark on something that they are reading.

So, here we go. Write to write to write.  If you never start writing somewhere you may never start at all.  Sometimes people think that they have to sit down and be able to write a massive amount at one sitting, or that they must put out perfection and, since they don’t’ believe that they can, they don’t even try.  My writing is certainly not perfection and, sometimes due to my crazy life of having three kids all under the age of 8 in the house, I only get out a handful of sentences at a time before I go insane.  But I write.  It gets easier, everyday, to write.  It may be one sentence a day, then it goes to two, then three.  Before you know it, you’re writing paragraphs at a time.

And it’s okay to stop the main thing you are writing to go and write something for fun [look at me, I’m doing that very thing right now!].  If you make writing a chore, or work, then you’ll never want to do it. You have a right to write what’s fun.  If you’re not enjoying what you’re writing, then why would anyone enjoy reading it?

Think about it!

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Posted by on July 9, 2013 in Inspiration, ramblings, writing


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