Do I talk to myself? Yes, yes I do. Does that make me crazy? Normal society may say yes, but who has time for anything normal? Better yet, who wants to be normal? I don’t! Anyway, recently I lost my keys and, during yet another search of the house, one of my voices decided to speak up. What you see next is the dialogue that followed. Enjoy my crazy.
I’ve looked for them everywhere. Yes, even in that hard to reach spot and the spots that don’t make any sense. Everywhere, and I can’t find them.
Well, you know, if you had looked everywhere then you would have found them.
I wasn’t talking to you, thank you very much.
Oh, you weren’t? I don’t see anyone else around here to listen to your ranting.
If you want to get technical about it, then you’re not here either. You’re just one of the voices in my head.
I know you didn’t say what I heard you say . . .
….That.. you’re just a voice in my head?
Well . . . you are.
I see. That’s the thanks that I get for coming all the way down here, stoping what I was doing, so I could come and keep you company. The nerve.
If anything you are being more of a hinderance, than a help, to me finding my missing keys!
Always asking for help, and then when it shows up you ignore it.
I’m not ignoring anything but maybe your lack of common sense.
Even has to throw insults at me.
Ugh. Look. Okay. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot and —
Now you want to apologize?
That’s more like it. I have better things to do than sit around trying to help you remember something so trivial as where you put your car keys. So, did you check your bag?
Of course I checked my bag.
Are you sure?
Positive. I checked it twice, even turned the whole thing inside out.
Did you check the drawer?
Did you check under the couch.
Yes. I even checked in the pan in the closet, and you know that I never go up there.
Hmm, I see. Well, I hate to tell you this, but your keys are lost.
I never would have guessed…
Don’t get cheeky on my now or I won’t offer my help. I’ll talk to the other Voices and see if any of them can remember anything about what you did when you came home. You were so frazzled that day most of us were simply trying to stay out of your way.
You’re welcome. It may take another day, but we’ll find the keys and we’ll let you know where to look when we do. RIght now, stop thinking about it and do something that doesn’t require any thinking at all.
Gotcha. I’ll just be over here, doing nothing.
Glad we understand each other.